


Numb

by vilnolin



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-29
Updated: 2011-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-28 23:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vilnolin/pseuds/vilnolin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite everything, he had just gone numb</p>
            </blockquote>





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Pollo Loco  
> Warning: Angst, insanity, perspective swap  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel. All original characters belong to me, all rights reserved and all lefts reversed.  
> Song: Zero Signal by Fear Factory  
> reformat/edit: 22.7.14

**Numb**  
  
 _So withdrawn and feeling numb; watching life come all undone…  
Growing fear, a human grace, a drowning mind in a dark embrace…  
Lost—all faith!  
Lost—all trust!_  
  
            He knew, watching her stalk him, that she would never understand. It tore at him, deeply—she  _should_  have understood. It was that damn human.  
            He forced his lip to uncurl, turning slightly to acknowledge her. “You’re just in time,” He announced, digging his heel into the black robed man’s chest, hearing a rib give under the force, seeing the fear in the man’s eyes as his own blood stained his precious, sanctimonious symbol of misbegotten religion. “It seems his faith wasn’t strong enough..”  
            Max’s face flickered through emotions faster than he could catalog them, but the truth was there, even as she pleaded, “We could let him go…find someone better—”  
            “No!” He spun on her, desperate. “This is for  _you_ , Maxie. So you finally understand what I’m doing.”  
            She looked at him, and for a moment, he thought she had gotten it—“Run!”   
            He felt the wind blow out from his lungs as her foot impacted with his midsection, and then the ground hit him hard. Ben ignored the pain, breathing deep and flipping himself to his feet.  
            He knew there would be no more words…there couldn’t be. The Blue Lady needed to be appeased, or else how would they stay safe? And if Maxie couldn’t see it, then, sadly, it fell to him. The good of all his brothers and sisters outweighed his care for his favorite little sibling. Taking a single moment to come to terms with his decision, he paused in circling, watching her steps, counting how long they took.   
            It only took her another two to figure out what he was doing, and she paused as well, meeting his gaze. Surprise and horror flickered across her face before something akin to determination settled in their place. Ben couldn’t help but smile a bit; she could always read him the best, and it came as no surprise she saw her death in his eyes.  
            “ _Ave Domina Cyaneus, gratia plena, dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in creatura, et benedictus, fructus ventris tui, Sancta Domina Cyaneus, mater dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et hora mortis nostrae…*_ ” He muttered, before he blurred at her.  
  
 _  
My life, a disarray,  
And I fade away.  
I am down on my knees  
praying beyond belief.  
The silence deafens my ears  
and welds the shackles  
onto my fears.  
I have lost all faith.  
I have lost all trust.  
A sordid mesh turning to dust…_  
  
            They were decently matched, he thought, surprised. Once upon a time, his superior strength and higher marks in hand-to-hand would have had her down, good and pinned already. Even as the thought flashed through his head, she landed a blow to his chin that sent him reeling—and he launched his foot out, blindly kicking—  
 ** _Crunch!_**  
            The pain wrenched a scream from his throat, even as he struggled to silence himself—he had been here too long, Lydecker would be on his trail—  
            The unmistakable sound of helicopter rotors reached his ears, and he didn’t need to glance at Max to know she heard it too. Fear and panic were clear on her features, and he knew they were mirrored on his. They both knew who was coming…And, by the Blue Lady, he’d have led the man straight to Maxie!  
            He steeled himself against the pain, clutching onto Max’s jacket as their nightmare continued towards them. “Don’t leave me here.” He gasped, clinging to her, understanding that this was the only way. “Don’t let them take me!”  
            She started to move, but he was barely in her arms and she was having difficulty. “Ben, I can’t carry you!” Her voice was tinged with desperation, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. “We’ll both get caught.”  
            “I know.” He wasn’t going back, not ever. No, the Blue Lady would take him, she had to, he had done so much for her…  
            He felt her tense as she realized what he was asking. “Ben, I can’t.”  
            “Please.” He said, pulling himself so he could see her clearer. “You know what they’ll do to me. They’ll put me down there with them...” He swallowed hard, flinching at the terrors in his mind, the ones locked behind doors that all started with X2 and X3, down those cold, dark, mildew infested corridors of Manticore’s sub-basement… “the Nomlies… Please.” He looked up at her, begging her, begging the Blue Lady—

            It felt like an eternity before Max spoke, her fingers gently massaging his hair line, brushing over his barcode in a way that made him relax… “Tell me about the Good Place.” Her voice was just barely louder than a whisper, and nearly drowned out by the approaching  _twump twump_  of the helicopters.  
            A smile spread across his face, despite the pain, and he struggled to keep himself upright, knowing he was clinging to her with strength born of desperation. “Where no one ever gets punished…”  
            “And no one gets yelled at,” Max said, shifting her massage to his shoulders as her voice wavered.  
            It felt good, her fingers kneading his skin, distracting from the thousand shards of glass that were what was left of his knee cap. “And nobody disappears,” He reminded her, closing his eyes and seeing the cheerful, deep blue walls, the toy chest in the corner and the closet next to it that would have clothes with all sorts of colors and patterns. And there were pictures on the walls of all of them, all their siblings, and the bunk beds made of wood, just like on those tv shows, complete with cartoon character sheets out of the catalogs… “And, when you wake up in the morning, you can stay in bed as long as you—”  
            He had felt her twitch her hands, but the sudden pop and rush of heat to his neck was the last thing he remembered feeling before everything just—  
  
I… I’m lost…  
I am so numb…  
I’m so numb!  
  
 **End**  
  
* A bastardized ‘Hail Mary’ prayer, adapted by me and most likely mistranslated into Latin. :  
“Hail Blue Lady, full of grace, the lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among the creatures, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Hail Blue Lady, mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.”


End file.
